Hi all, hope you are all well. 2nd end of year blog, let's get to it, shall we? This is just a nice way for me to recap on myself, share my achievements, feelings, self-reflection and a glimpse into a way to develop myself as a person, as an artist, and performer. As always, I want to thank you all, be that avid readers, drop-in by-ers and first-time nosy-ers, I appreciate it, well and truly.
What's happened this year?
January, a lot like everyone else, was a bleak start to the year, with a lockdown and no sign of the pandemic we are still in was letting up and the already dwindling faith in this government to keep us safe was only beginning to run empty. However with the momentum of a new year, my exploration into Final Cut Pro and Logic Pro X was still in my mind, and looked into how through history as a species we tell stories, and how even now we say the same and wonder how future us will look back on the year 2021 as we look back to the bronze age. This was also the first time I tried painting. Still shit at its mind, but the therapeutic aspect is still pretty prominent, especially when I have a moment to actually hear myself think, which is a rare luxury this year.
In February, from first memory I recall it being rough, emotionally draining, to say the
least. From looking back I actually had Covid for the most part of the month, and
through that time to self-reflect, it settled my plans that I needed to move to
somewhere where there is more of a creative scene, and Operation Shitbox was in full force. None of the funding opportunities from this month came through, but nevertheless, it was a learning curve and stage to realise I (Even now) are way in over my head. This was also the time I first experienced my first Role in modelling, which I feel has gone well.
March came and went faster than a speeding bullet, donating plasma, working on music, as a coping mechanism from the lockdowns, and working on a voice piece of one of my favourite scripts I learnt of since GCSE's. It also was the month I worked on my first article piece on my Updates, Looking into: The Content Creator of OnlyFans.
Through April I managed to get back into working, driving lessons, gymming, more photography, and some shitty animation. All of which were quite minor little things that means not much, but every little helps in the grand scheme of the development of skills.
May, days became a little more groundhog day, and life Mundane. I took part in a collaboration with people which fell through, along with myself being overly ambitious with recording performance with a university friend of mine, which I feel a little awful about dropping out of still. Developed a spoken word along with some music for backing as a little side project and practised with my skills in poetry, music development and mixing. This was the month of my first appearance in a podcast, and hopefully the first of many.
In June and July, Sustainability and Slow Processes was Dancing through my mind, and MORB, the elusive Graffiti artist/s which I still want to document. This along with further exploration into different mediums such as charcoal, character creation, and further developing the workshop 'People Processes, Pieces' Also the start of considering putting work on T-shirts, developing logos and exploring how I would do such.
August. From the looks of things, this was a month of weakness, in which myself as a person was struggling quite a little bit, and trying to grasp the fine balance between trying to conform to societal norms and values without completely removing myself and my personal image in the process, whilst trying to comprehend my reasoning on how much power these metaphysical ideologies we have a society have and enforce on people to conform into cardboard individuals, with the despair of knowing that we as collective neglect our mental wellbeing in place of financial gain. Without some of the care from people in this month I am unaware of how I would be today, so thank you. Did some college work too, new form, shittily attempted, but enjoyed.
September came with the idea of everything but free time, using my free time to paint a bit more, and learning lighting desks, in preparation for upcoming shows to be lighting with a group I volunteer for. My driving theory test was passed which was a relief, If I remember, it was quite a hot September, I found myself taking refuge from the place I live in the woods near me, away from the headaches and migraines my place of living deals freely.
October took a better turn in terms of live achievements, goals and things starting to go ahead. This was the first time a piece I helped develop was exhibited. MONKEY (2021), which got positive reviews was exhibited at New-func's 'NEW WAYS OF: Reading' Event, an experimental art exhibition exploring and deep-diving into experimental arts and ideas on simple human concepts, such as partying, breathing and reading. This was also the first time I was a TV Extra, which was an absolute dream, the 4 days of filming felt more like a holiday than work. I also lit 3 shows independently too, which was pretty incredible for 31 days.
Through November, even though it was only weeks away from when I'm typing this, it feels so far away already. I was an extra in another performance, and again it was a joy to be doing, lighting different shows, such as a comedian, folk duo and Rat-pack singer. As well as introducing a new person to DnD sessions as well which was fun, and exploring an open day with a creative community called Z-arts, with the hopes that there will be a new avenue in which they take me under their wing, and let me absorb knowledge and be able to provide and hone my skills back.
This was also the month I found a 1972 USSR camera in a charity shop, for £6 it was worth checking out and it takes photos, I still have rolls of films and am really enjoying experimenting with it to see the capabilities it can provide in the world of photography.
This takes me to December, currently, this month has all been about preparing for next year, with a clear portfolio idea in creation, pieces such as clowning, live stream performances and more ideas to further expand my creative skills and build a portfolio from the works I do over the next year. Moving out is still a task and driving lessons are both things I am working towards.
This month I have always seen it as a month for reflection in the year, and the way I'm progressing and growing. When I reflect, I've seen how I have feelings of my own personal progression not being as far I wanted, and still,l quite figuring out the reasons behind why I feel as such. I've made some massive achievements through this year even with all things considered, such as having work exhibited, progressing through my driving, surviving the year alone is quite a feat. Yet in terms of satisfaction for everything I've done in the year, is it the human condition to never be satisfying.
Which Leads to future plans for 2022...
Relocating, Recharging and renewing a new outlook on life and creating a path for myself that can more effectively generate positive results heading into the new year. I have set myself a task of creating at least 3 new pieces in which can be fully created and documented to help create a fully formed portfolio. These include sculpture, live stream performance, and some performance art, alongside side projects such as coding, music and painting.
That, and a whole lot of luck.
That being said, as tough as it has been this year for everyone myself included, I'm glad you made it to the next year too, and hopefully we can create a brighter horizon together. Also, thanks again for reading, I enjoy writing these and am glad that people can have a nosey and pop in and out whenever they want to read, I know I don't really communicate to many people anymore, but I guess you can see what I'm up to, and hopefully see growth, post by post.
Cheers all, and I'll catch you all in the new year. Below are just some links to self-help, as this month and the gap between Christmas and the new year is a point in which a lot of people will be struggling, and know there is help out there.
Peace,
-S (26/12/21)
Links to Self Help: The Samaritans - Tel: 116 123 - samaritans.org
Shout - Text Shout to 85258 - giveusashout.org
Papyrus HOPELINEUK – 0800 068 4141 - papyrus-uk.org
Childline - Helpline: 0800 11 11 - childline.org.uk
Students Against Depression - https://www.studentsagainstdepression.org/are-you-depressed-or-anxious/
https://www.mind.org.uk/
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